TEARS OF SADNESS AND TEARS OF JOY

How cruel of the camera to capture the Chancellor’s moment of lachrymosity at the funeral! When do you capitulate & acknowledge the wet spot by wiping it furtively away or do you wait for it to dry up on its own so no one sees the quick brushing away? I know how George Osborne felt. I’ve been there in a police uniform. “Maggie” watchers will know she would not have approved of such public blubbering although even she slipped a bit in the not for public sobbing stakes. Her traumatic departure from No 10, after eleven outstanding years was one and at the funeral of Dennis, when her deep grief naturally flowed. She shed a small tear when Mark, favoured, prodigal son was lost in the desert but she mostly maintained her Iron Lady role!

She certainly did when she attended Liverpool cathedral for the first Hillsborough memorial service. I bet hers was the only dry eye in the congregation when the organ began to play, “You’ll never walk alone’. As I’ve described in “No way up the Greasy Pole, (1992/3), she marched past the assembled ranks of police officers, myself included, without showing a flicker of emotion. For myself, I was blubbering so hard, the silver buttons on my uniform were almost lost from sight.

This Sunday, I’ll light a candle, for Ann Williams, devoted mother of Kevin, whose son was another needless victim of Hillsborough with its lies and cover-ups. After a battle against cancer, she died this week but managed a last emotional appearance recently at the 24th memorial service. Only dogged willpower got her though. She had rightly suspected that Kevin had been alive after the “Official Cut Off Time”. She fought for two decades for the truth about Kevin and saw off, every official attempt to thwart her burning desire for the truth. She survived long enough to attend Bishop James’s Panel’s revelations, again in the cathedral, last September where it was finally revealed that Kevin had laid for 45 minutes dying on a gymnasium floor. A tank of oxygen could have saved him.

The desire for justice and the truth to be told is a very strong human instinct. I know! I had that instinct when my superb record of the most senior woman officer was being rubbished and promotion eluded me. After that epic struggle, women finally were promoted to chief constables. Without the Halford case, such promotions could have taken another ten years.

Regular Blog followers will know that I’m determined to correct the huge injustice of being found guilty by an Adjudication Panel three years ago now. The tide is turning for me as more and more is being uncovered that shouts corruption. I shed tears when I realised I was remorselessly being swept towards a Panel hearing when there would only be one result. I wept when the guilty verdict I expected, was announced, but for relief as I thought I’d be barred from holding office. How I’ve been treated will confound my critics who feel I have been overzealous in my refusal to accept I’m guilty. It’s not just those lies on oath; it’s more now with a desperate case of dodgy, non-disclosure of documents. It takes courage to write these blogs for the implications are grave! The truth is that allegations will “all stand up.”; otherwise I would be a fool.

A reporter mentioned she gets notice of a new blog! She won’t be the only one on Halford Blog watch. For one such watcher, the phrase that keeps running though my mind; “Memory is a very fickle thing”, may have some resonance too.

I will not weep when the truth is told unless its tears of sadness that greed, vengeance and obsession with power can bring the perpetrators so low. For he who widely smirked when the guilty verdict was announced there will be only shouts of celebration as there will be for he who introduced a new whole meaning to “The best method of defence is attack”. Perhaps, a votive candle or two will do no harm. For the luck to win my fight for justice and to seek forgiveness for those who thought I could be destroyed!

The up side of this 3 year fight for justice is that I believe I will achieve the same success as Anne Williams. Find the truth. The down-side: is the ton of public money that was spent to find me guilty in the first place and now; to get the wickedness overturned.

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